Hello friends, it has been a year since my last post and two years since I created INFJash. The last time I wrote to you, I created a list of five special experiences from 2016 and five goals for 2017. I would like to share again today, but first must apologize for my absence. The past year was very busy and required intense focus on my immediate challenges. In what felt like the fleeting moments that I had a break, I tried to slow time by seeking out fulfilling experiences that demanded I focus on the present moment.
As 2017 came to a close and I accomplished my challenges, I reflected on the year with a desire to slow down and make the most of my free moments. Having my mental health put to the test through a year full of stress, demanding deadlines, anxiety, self-defeating thoughts and panic attacks has created a passionate drive for how I want 2018 to unfold.
As many of us know, when a person seeks wellness they need to look at multiple dimensions including: physical, mental, social, spiritual, emotional, and many more. My overarching goal for 2018 is to focus on creating a better awareness of my level of wellness and strengthening it. Though 2017 depleted me greatly, there were many special moments. Some of these special moments were the completion of 2017’s goals!
Five Special Experiences of 2017:
- My partner and I found a wonderful apartment to live in.
- I spent a beautiful autumn day in Pembina Valley ziplining with my mom.
- I experienced many wonderful moments visiting with my family and friends.
- I started a bullet journal and am exploring my creativity.
- I successfully completed my Bachelor of Human Ecology Degree majoring in Family Social Sciences.
Five Goals for 2018:
- Post more on INFJash.
- Read for fun.
- Travel somewhere, anywhere.
- Complete Yoga with Adriene’s TRUE: 30 day yoga journey.
- Increase my wellness.
It is important to realize that you do not need the beginning of a year to create goals and make changes to increase your wellness. You are in control of your life and you can begin new practices or stop old routines whenever you decide. Sometimes the start of a year can feel like a clean break, a fresh start; but it is not necessary.
Stop, reflect, decide – how do you want your 2018 to unfold? If you ever struggle with making goals that you do not completing, take a look at my post on S.M.A.R.T. goals! Remember: “allow yourself to be a beginner, no one starts off being excellent”.
With love, my friends – be kind, be well, be you.
Shine on. ♥
It has been 1 year since I created this blog, my first blog. I have to admit – I never dreamed that I would receive the amount of positive feedback and followers that I have. Thank you, so much. To each and every one of you who liked, commented, followed and support me throughout this past year of 2016!
INFJash doesn’t mean as much without you all. My desire is to continue to explore my creative side, express it to you and reach even more people around the world. Please feel free to share your thoughts and opinions with me – what do you like about INFJash? What could improve INFJash?
Today I want to share something personal with you. I want to share 5 special experiences that made 2016 great, and 5 goals for 2017 to guide me in discovering my purpose.
Five Special Experiences of 2016:
- I created INFJash and you helped me feel inspired and proud of myself.
- I celebrated my 5 year anniversary with my life-partner.
- I returned to university to obtain my Family Social Sciences Degree.
- I made the commitment to discovering my purpose; to find what brings me happiness and fulfillment.
- I found Introvert Spring, home of the INFJ Forum which allowed me to feel understood, appreciated and make meaningful connections with multiple INFJs (learn more here).
Five Goals for 2017:
- Create at least 1 blog post per month.
- Try three new things (snowboarding, rock climbing, a blog challenge)
- Travel somewhere, anywhere.
- Find an apartment with my life-partner and make it our happy home.
- Complete my Family Social Sciences Degree before 2018.
I look forward to being present and enjoying this year. I also look forward to reading your thoughts and opinions on my future blog posts. I love hearing from you! Comment with your own ideas, advice or goals for the new year.
With love, friends – shine on. ♥
Webster’s Dictionary has defined worrying as, “to touch or disturb something repeatedly”, “to feel or experience concern or anxiety” or even, “to move, proceed, or progress by unceasing or difficult effort”. Really, worrying means to struggle. I believe our tendency to worry is based on our personalities and life experiences.
My experience has been that I worry a lot.. and then I worry some more. I worry about many things, and it really does feel like a struggle at times. Certain worries give me the drive to do better; what should I do with my life? Is there a career that I will enjoy? Will I pass this course?
Other worries cause intense anxiety and even panic attacks. Do my loved ones care about me? Do they miss my absence? How can I endure this struggle to be perfect? Why do I punish myself for making mistakes? Why are there such evil people in the world? How can I help all those that suffer? What if my loved ones die? How can I be happy without them? Why do I feel so much? Why do I feel the need to prepare for social interactions? What’s wrong with me?
By the time I turned 20, I realized that worrying was having a pretty negative impact on my life. So I worried some more. Over the past few years I have struggled between trying to live in the present moment and worrying. I am now 25; I have learnt a lot and I respect that worry can have a positive place in my life. One where it gives me enough anxiety to get through my challenges as well as my goals.
However, I recognize that I deserve to live an enjoyable life. One where I am able to limit my worries and live in the present moment as often as possible. I remind myself not to worry about the situations I have no control over. I try to make time for the things and people that I love, to limit my future regrets. I offer comfort and advice, but I remind myself that they are ultimately responsible for making the change.
The sad reality that Tom Petty has helped me realize came through in these lyrics:
“I’m so tired of being tired; sure as night will follow day.
Most things I worry about.. never happen anyway.”
I know that in the future I will again be debilitated by my worries, but I strive to limit these occurrences. I will give myself permission to feel, and then use the skills I’ve learnt to overcome my worrying mind.
My friends, I invite you to forgive yourself for your flaws. You are human and your feelings are real, but you do have the strength to overcome your struggles. You deserve to be happy, and live for the moment.
How has worrying affected your life? What coping skills have worked for you? Please share your experiences.
With love, friends.♥
A friendly reminder, to myself and my followers, that although life has felt overwhelming and busy I will continue to put myself first and accomplish my goals as I can. Though we may not have the abundance of time to dedicate to important aspects of our lives, they still mean a great deal to us.
Though we may feel sadness from the inability to put as much time and care into what we want, we still live and breathe and have the ability to change what is within our control. What is not within our control, we must exhale and let go of.
Be at peace with your soul. You are unique, there is no one else like you and that is your strength. Love yourself first and the rest will fall into place.
With love, friends – just breathe. ♥
Guilt is such an interesting feeling. It can really change the way you look at and feel about life. Sometimes it can even affect the decisions you make. For me, guilt is something that creeps into my life daily. I am a dedicated person, I put my heart and soul into everything I do. Yet I let guilt control my life.
Right now I am in my third year of University and it’s been overwhelming to say the least. I try to accomplish coursework all day so that I have time to relax and have fun. But it never comes, the work never ends. It can get so overwhelming, the sheer volume of work to accomplish, that I find myself sitting on the floor. I stare into space and zone out. Sometimes I can’t move for 20 minutes. I feel immobilized. Eventually I force myself up and get back to work. It’s been a struggle.
I find myself longing to do simple things. I want to go visit my friends and family, read a book, write in my blog or even go for a walk. I have to ask myself: why is it like this? Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I pretend to have it all together and power through the day, just to do it all again tomorrow? It shouldn’t be so consuming. I enjoy what I am learning. When I graduate with my degree, no one will look at my grades. Why am I trying so hard?
It’s me. It’s who I am. I give it all and I never give up. I pretend I’m not weak. I don’t ask for help. I am a tyrant to my being, and no one knows it but me.
It needs to stop. I know that my mind, body and soul are precious – but my actions don’t show it. I know I need to protect, encourage and love them. Why don’t I? I don’t have the answer, but I want to find a solution.
If you’re like me and sacrifice your wellness, telling yourself that it’s for the best or that you’ll take a break when you’re done… admit it. You never let yourself be done. At least not for long, then you throw yourself right back into the chaos.
This pattern feels impenetrable, but I don’t want to live this way. I want to enjoy every day. I want to embrace self-care. I don’t want to feel guilty anymore for craving it. I want to feel whole and satisfied. Not an empty shell that will crumble at the first setback. We can have this. We can be this. We deserve it. If we are just brave enough to let ourselves.
Try this with me? We don’t have to struggle. We don’t have to go it alone. No matter what your demons are, you deserve to be happy. Share your struggles, share your triumphs. We are in this together.
With love, friends.♥
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. For real. Today my journey begins on rediscovering my INFJ soulprint, to finding my purpose! How is this possible you may ask? I’ll tell you.
It all began on a cold winters morn’ in January of 2016. I stumbled upon IntrovertSpring. An amazing website created by Michaela Chung to inspire and touch the lives of all the introverts in all the lands. Sounds like a fairytale, doesn’t it? Well just you wait! It gets better. Funny, that sounds like something I heard when I was 13..
Within this website there was a forum. Not just any forum! No, a special forum.. for special people. People who only make up less than 1% of the population. INFJs.
Now, these people must be pretty special if they were able to score their own forum on IntrovertSpring! The truth is they are. Each and every one of them has been blessed with a special gift by the great and powerful Universe! They have superpowers too. Okay, we’re getting off track.
I found this special forum in January and as soon as I joined it, I felt like I had found my home. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have to pretend to be something I wasn’t, or hide pieces of myself. There was a community that I could be a part of. I fit in.
My heart has so much to say about this experience. It is hard to stay focussed on just one amazing aspect. Purpose. Me. Identity. Soulprint. The INFJ Purpose Blueprint was created! My ticket to the creative, exciting (yet peaceful) and fulfilling future I have always dreamed of!
My insecurities try to hold me back; but I will open my soul if it means I will wake up every morning, excited to live my life.
Do you ever have a desire to discover what makes you feel alive? Do you know what your purpose is? I hope I will soon.
With love, friends – shine on. ♥
People say it all the time. Don’t let time pass you by, seize the day. We hear it from our grandparents, watch it in the movies and listen to it in songs – and do we listen?
This past year I have been trying to do a better job of living in the moment and being more aware of how I spend my time. I have so many ideas, dreams and goals to accomplish.. yet I still find myself squandering the time.
When I have spare time, I “waste” it by watching Netflix and playing on my cellphone. Sure, I get some things accomplished but then laziness kicks in. If I’m being truly honest, I’m doing okay and I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Tell that to my internal INFJ voice, it’s the cause of my guilt and frustration over lost time.
Speaking of lost time, when I am busy it seems to just fly on by. As I check my calendar it’s suddenly a month later. I fall behind on my passions as life demands my attention. Then I feel remorse, I should be able to have time for both: work and pleasure.
I feel embarrassed. After my last reflection on physical health, I had hoped the next time I posted I would have had something of significance to share with you. I considered just ignoring my setback, but as my dear friend Elizabeth would say, “that’s life”. Why feel bad? I am not a bad person because my priorities changed for a few months. I can be myself, my goals are still the same. I still struggle and fight with my lack of motivation – and despite having nothing concrete to show for a new workout schedule, I have made some major progress in other areas.
My Life Since April:
April was a time consuming month, physically and mentally. With the help of my wonderful mother, we cleaned out the bedroom of my Amma who passed away in 2010 and the rest of my Afi’s house. My loving partner helped me wash, prime and paint the walls. I spent numerous evenings packing and moving my belongings two hours north, back to the the country where I grew up. A tenant took over my apartment and I was officially moved into my Afi’s by May!
Two days later, I jumped right into my online university courses. Having not been in school for a year I was quickly realizing how out of touch I was with my scholarly self. The coursework soon consumed my day-to-day life, leaving little time for fun or exercise. In my spare time, I travel the four hour round trip to and from my casual jobs in Winnipeg and Portage La Prairie. Travelling in the country between my parents, partner’s and Afi’s house to spend time with them while studying.
It’s now June and I am beginning to gain a little more control in my life. A routine is coming together and I made space for a breather. In bed, with sporadic cellular service and no internet, writing this post which I will not get to upload until Friday. But.. it’s a beautiful breather in the country. The chilled, sweet smelling spring air floating in the window as the evening birds chirp bed time stories to their chicks. Frogs croaking in the distance with me feeling completely at ease in the countryside. I’m home again, for how long? Who knows. Tomorrow is a new day, and again I will strive to live in the moment for as long as possible, before I get swept up in the tornado that is life.
Live in the moment & make it beautiful;
Sweet dreams, friends. ♥