Reflection #1: INFJ

Throughout my adolescence I always felt different. I never felt like I belonged. I was walking through my life uninterested in the social climb, the fashion, the parties. Sure I wanted to belong. I didn’t want to be the loner who got ridiculed for her appearance and wardrobe. I just wasn’t interested in the same things as my peers.

There were clues – not that I knew at the time what they meant. I remembered hearing the predictable “teachers pet”, “nerd”, “emo”. Of course I internalized the bullying, but I didn’t agree with what they said. I didn’t even belong to the labels they put me in. Maybe I was a “freak”. I mean, who doesn’t even fit their labels as a kid?

It hurt, I didn’t want to be an outsider – but what could I do? That’s what I was.. but why did I feel it so much? Why did all the harsh words they threw at me hit me so hard and drown me in emotions? That was what I didn’t get. Looking back I wondered.. despite all that, why didn’t I just play the part? Why didn’t I just do what I had to do to fit in?

The truth is.. despite how much it hurt, it wasn’t who I was – and I always stayed true to who I was, even if I wasn’t sure what that meant.

Years later, I found myself at the end of my Child and Youth Care Diploma. Our teacher asked us to take a test, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which is based on the typological theory by Carl Jung. My result: INFJ. So what? Some answers put me into a group of letters, big deal. I didn’t give it another thought.

Sometime later, I retook the test (having forgotten my results). There it was again, INFJ. Okay, so what does this mean? I started googling it. Sifting through pages and pages of explanations – and the more I read, the more excited I became. This is who I was! INFJ! How could something so simple describe me so perfect? In such detail? With so many accurate examples? How could it be possible that I belonged somewhere after all? Somewhere that I fit perfectly. Somewhere I could be me, and know what that meant. I exhaled in wonder, this is what I was meant to discover.
Confusion

Now I know who I am. Have you ever felt this way? Do you know your MBTI type? Click here to find out: 16 personalities or Human Metrics. When you get your results post them here and let me know what you think!

With love, friends – shine on. ♥

 

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28 thoughts on “Reflection #1: INFJ

      1. I was never interested in the party scene and my friends thought I was being judgmental of them because I didn’t want to go. But really, I just didn’t like big parties and felt much more comfortable in one on one situations. I felt like the only way I would be liked was by pretending to be someone I wasn’t. And so I kind of ostracized myself. In adulthood, it hasn’t been much of a problem. I have a few close friends but not a group. And I’m very okay with that!

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        1. That does sound very similar to me! Thank you for sharing 🙂 I agree, in adulthood it becomes less of a problem. In the future I hope to meet people like you who understand this (and also have such an interest in adventure, I really like your blog)!

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  1. I completely relate to this! When I did the Meyers Briggs personality test, I’ve never read a description which more accurately describes who I am. I don’t feel I necessarily struggle to fit in (although I definitely felt that way when I was younger), but I do often feel like nobody really understands who I am, especially my introverted side. And then when I read things like this, I realise that there are people out there who understand exactly where I’m coming from! Thanks for following my blog – it’s nice to meet another fellow INFJ! 🙂

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    1. It’s nice to meet you too! I agree, it isn’t as difficult to fit in now, but it can be frustrating when people don’t understand the INFJ and/or introvert parts of you. I know what you mean, I am also an introvert. Thank you for sharing! 🙂

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      1. It can definitely be frustrating. I think blogging is great for introverted people though, because so many bloggers are introverts, and when you join a community like WordPress you are suddenly connected with a ton of people like you 🙂

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          1. Definitely! It’s nice to meet people who understand exactly where you’re coming from. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends to pieces, but I don’t think any of them truly understand my introvert side, no matter how much I try to explain.

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          2. Yes I agree, it can definately be frustrating not recieving that understanding. I also enjoy getting to know other introverts. I don’t seem to have the opportunity of meeting many in my daily life! 🙂

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  2. I’m an INFP. Only 4% of the world population has this exact same characteristics. So, yes, I know what you’ve been through. I didn’t fit, nor I tried to do it. When I found out about this personality test, I was amazed just like you. I was so perfectly described it seemed impossible. And that meant there where people who gets me. I just need to find them. 🙂

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  3. I had a very similar experience of loving my INFJ label, and recently a man told me I “shouldn’t put so much stock in labels.” It really annoyed me, and I couldn’t put my finger on why until this blog post! INFJs often feel misunderstood even while we crave connection with people. I too was given labels growing up, and they never quite fit. It was so frustrating, when all I really wanted was to find the label that DID fit, that described what I was like and made me feel understood. Calling myself an INFJ does that, and it is so satisfying on such a deep level! Thanks for helping me see the connection. 🙂

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    1. I am so glad you shared your experience Tricia! I bet there is more people like us who feel how we feel. It can be so uplifting to finally find that label that fits you, and maybe even allows us to one day feel so understood that we will no longer need to cling to it as heavily to know who we are. 🙂 I am really glad my post helped you make your connection! 😀

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  4. I remember when I found out that I was an INFJ. It was like I’d been living with a stranger–unable to identify why I behaved the way I did or felt what I felt. When I read the INFJ description, it was like finding a long-lost piece of me. Suddenly everything I did and felt made sense.
    I love Meyers Briggs personality test. 😀

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      1. I’ve met one in “real” life. But online I’ve come across three (not counting yourself 🙂 ). Two of them had INFJ in there name and wrote posts about being an INFJ, so they were pretty easy to spot. 😉 The third person wrote stories like me. I discovered her blog, and we started chatting. You know that feeling you get with some people? Like something just clicks? That’s how I felt with her.
        Well, about a month ago, I did a post that challenged people to take the Myers Briggs test and post their results in the comments. Guess what this girl was? An INFJ! I knew we really clicked for some reason. I think somehow we can just sense when someone is an INFJ like us, even if it is online. Which is pretty cool. 🙂

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        1. Wow that does sound really cool! I wish I knew more INFJs, I agree you get a feeling with them. I feel connected and understood and cared about in my experience connecting with INfJs and its great! 🙂

          That is so interesting to me that you found out you were an INFJ later even though you knew they were! Feel free to connect more with me if you’d like!

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  5. I was the same when I took this test. The second time I took the MBTI test and got INFJ, when I looked into it, it was like I was reading an explanation of myself. It helped me so much to know more about myself and why I was the way I was.

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  6. I’ve had a lot of people discourage me from reading too much into personality typing, but I imagine that for certain people it’s the primary way that we find to articulate who it is we are to ourselves without the noise. For me, realizing I was an INFJ really helped me to put things into perspective — good and bad — about the way that I have historically interacted with others. I know it isn’t particularly scientific, but it’s helped me to accept myself when others caused me to feel as though I just didn’t make sense.

    There are very few things that have had more profound effects on my self acceptance (learning about the highly sensitive person, seeking therapy — something quite common for HSPs, and reading Quiet by Susan Cain). Feeling like I had a way to explain the things that no one else seemed to get about me via MBTI was really life changing for me.

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    1. Thank you for sharing Kristin! I am happy you didn’t let those discouraging people drag you down, there can be so much negativity in our lives and we feel it so deeply. I agree, it affected me in similar ways. I will have to look into reading Quiet by Susan Cain, thanks! 🙂

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  7. Can definitely relate to so much of this. The feeling of always being different and misunderstood and I was always confused by my own contradictions. I always wanted to fit in but never seemed to value the same things as other people. Was called teacher’s pet, goody-two-shoes, nerd and geek. Emo wasn’t around yet when I was in school – hehe. When I found out I was an ISTJ, it helped me so much. And finding out I’m also INFJ has helped me again. My S/N and T/F seems to oscillate depending on circumstances. Thus adding to my confusing contradictions.

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