People say it all the time. Don’t let time pass you by, seize the day. We hear it from our grandparents, watch it in the movies and listen to it in songs – and do we listen?
This past year I have been trying to do a better job of living in the moment and being more aware of how I spend my time. I have so many ideas, dreams and goals to accomplish.. yet I still find myself squandering the time.
When I have spare time, I “waste” it by watching Netflix and playing on my cellphone. Sure, I get some things accomplished but then laziness kicks in. If I’m being truly honest, I’m doing okay and I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Tell that to my internal INFJ voice, it’s the cause of my guilt and frustration over lost time.
Speaking of lost time, when I am busy it seems to just fly on by. As I check my calendar it’s suddenly a month later. I fall behind on my passions as life demands my attention. Then I feel remorse, I should be able to have time for both: work and pleasure.
I feel embarrassed. After my last reflection on physical health, I had hoped the next time I posted I would have had something of significance to share with you. I considered just ignoring my setback, but as my dear friend Elizabeth would say, “that’s life”. Why feel bad? I am not a bad person because my priorities changed for a few months. I can be myself, my goals are still the same. I still struggle and fight with my lack of motivation – and despite having nothing concrete to show for a new workout schedule, I have made some major progress in other areas.
My Life Since April:
April was a time consuming month, physically and mentally. With the help of my wonderful mother, we cleaned out the bedroom of my Amma who passed away in 2010 and the rest of my Afi’s house. My loving partner helped me wash, prime and paint the walls. I spent numerous evenings packing and moving my belongings two hours north, back to the the country where I grew up. A tenant took over my apartment and I was officially moved into my Afi’s by May!
Two days later, I jumped right into my online university courses. Having not been in school for a year I was quickly realizing how out of touch I was with my scholarly self. The coursework soon consumed my day-to-day life, leaving little time for fun or exercise. In my spare time, I travel the four hour round trip to and from my casual jobs in Winnipeg and Portage La Prairie. Travelling in the country between my parents, partner’s and Afi’s house to spend time with them while studying.
It’s now June and I am beginning to gain a little more control in my life. A routine is coming together and I made space for a breather. In bed, with sporadic cellular service and no internet, writing this post which I will not get to upload until Friday. But.. it’s a beautiful breather in the country. The chilled, sweet smelling spring air floating in the window as the evening birds chirp bed time stories to their chicks. Frogs croaking in the distance with me feeling completely at ease in the countryside. I’m home again, for how long? Who knows. Tomorrow is a new day, and again I will strive to live in the moment for as long as possible, before I get swept up in the tornado that is life.
Live in the moment & make it beautiful;
Sweet dreams, friends. ♥