Reflection #9: Hello, 2018!

Hello friends, it has been a year since my last post and two years since I created INFJash. The last time I wrote to you, I created a list of five special experiences from 2016 and five goals for 2017. I would like to share again today, but first must apologize for my absence. The past year was very busy and required intense focus on my immediate challenges. In what felt like the fleeting moments that I had a break, I tried to slow time by seeking out fulfilling experiences that demanded I focus on the present moment.

As 2017 came to a close and I accomplished my challenges, I reflected on the year with a desire to slow down and make the most of my free moments. Having my mental health put to the test through a year full of stress, demanding deadlines, anxiety, self-defeating thoughts and panic attacks has created a passionate drive for how I want 2018 to unfold.

As many of us know, when a person seeks wellness they need to look at multiple dimensions including: physical, mental, social, spiritual, emotional, and many more. My overarching goal for 2018 is to focus on creating a better awareness of my level of wellness and strengthening it. Though 2017 depleted me greatly, there were many special moments. Some of these special moments were the completion of 2017’s goals!

Five Special Experiences of 2017:

  1. My partner and I found a wonderful apartment to live in.
  2. I spent a beautiful autumn day in Pembina Valley ziplining with my mom.
  3. I experienced many wonderful moments visiting with my family and friends.
  4. I started a bullet journal and am exploring my creativity.
  5. I successfully completed my Bachelor of Human Ecology Degree majoring in Family Social Sciences.

Five Goals for 2018:

  1. Post more on INFJash.
  2. Read for fun.
  3. Travel somewhere, anywhere.
  4. Complete Yoga with Adriene’s TRUE: 30 day yoga journey.
  5. Increase my wellness.

It is important to realize that you do not need the beginning of a year to create goals and make changes to increase your wellness. You are in control of your life and you can begin new practices or stop old routines whenever you decide. Sometimes the start of a year can feel like a clean break, a fresh start; but it is not necessary.

Stop, reflect, decide – how do you want your 2018 to unfold? If you ever struggle with making goals that you do not completing, take a look at my post on S.M.A.R.T. goals! Remember: “allow yourself to be a beginner, no one starts off being excellent”.

With love, my friends – be kind, be well, be you.
Shine on. ♥

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Reflection #7: Worry

Webster’s Dictionary has defined worrying as, “to touch or disturb something repeatedly”, “to feel or experience concern or anxiety” or even, “to move, proceed, or progress by unceasing or difficult effort”. Really, worrying means to struggle. I believe our tendency to worry is based on our personalities and life experiences.

My experience has been that I worry a lot.. and then I worry some more. I worry about many things, and it really does feel like a struggle at times. Certain worries give me the drive to do better; what should I do with my life? Is there a career that I will enjoy? Will I pass this course?

Other worries cause intense anxiety and even panic attacks. Do my loved ones care about me? Do they miss my absence? How can I endure this struggle to be perfect? Why do I punish myself for making mistakes? Why are there such evil people in the world? How can I help all those that suffer? What if my loved ones die? How can I be happy without them? Why do I feel so much? Why do I feel the need to prepare for social interactions? What’s wrong with me?

By the time I turned 20, I realized that worrying was having a pretty negative impact on my life. So I worried some more. Over the past few years I have struggled between trying to live in the present moment and worrying. I am now 25; I have learnt a lot and I respect that worry can have a positive place in my life. One where it gives me enough anxiety to get through my challenges as well as my goals.

However, I recognize that I deserve to live an enjoyable life. One where I am able to limit my worries and live in the present moment as often as possible. I remind myself not to worry about the situations I have no control over. I try to make time for the things and people that I love, to limit my future regrets. I offer comfort and advice, but I remind myself that they are ultimately responsible for making the change.

The sad reality that Tom Petty has helped me realize came through in these lyrics:

“I’m so tired of being tired; sure as night will follow day.
Most things I worry about.. never happen anyway.”

I know that in the future I will again be debilitated by my worries, but I strive to limit these occurrences. I will give myself permission to feel, and then use the skills I’ve learnt to overcome my worrying mind.

My friends, I invite you to forgive yourself for your flaws. You are human and your feelings are real, but you do have the strength to overcome your struggles. You deserve to be happy, and live for the moment.

How has worrying affected your life? What coping skills have worked for you? Please share your experiences.

With love, friends.♥